10 Do's and Don'ts to Impress a Hiring Manager

Photo by Olu Eletu on Unsplash.com

Photo by Olu Eletu on Unsplash.com

I recently spoke with two hiring managers who regularly interview and assess job applicants. One was the communications director and hiring manager for a large international business company. Another was a store manager for a large big box retailer. Both offered insight into what they look for in an applicant.  Every hiring manager is different but here are some of the things that would impress these two managers and help you land the job. 

How to Impress the Hiring Manager and Land a Job

  1. DO submit a short, impactful resume where your experience and abilities shine. One manager looks for a one page resume that highlights only the last 10 years of professional experience. Managers have limited time to scan resumes for the skills and experience needed for the job. In fact, in most cases, your resume has less than 10 seconds to impress the hiring manager. Bullet points that highlight your specific accomplishments and related experience make it easy for a manager to see the value in calling you in for an interview.

  2. DON’T use a functional resume. A functional resume focuses on skills and experience, rather than on a chronological work history. It is often used by job seekers who are changing careers, who have gaps in their employment history, or whose work history is not directly related to the job. While these have become popular in recent years, the managers I spoke with felt they were being misled by these resumes and immediately assumed the applicant was trying to hide something. Their sage advice was to go with a more traditional chronological resume, highlight transferable skills and be prepared to explain any gaps in employment.

  3. DO spend time crafting a well written cover letter. Don’t just repeat your resume but impress the manager with why they should hire you. What is your motivation for applying for this job? Why are you a good fit for the job? Write a customized cover letter for every job application. It takes time, but a one size fits all letter will not impress a hiring manager. Focus on your skills and abilities that fit the needs of each particular organization. Keep it short, less than 3 paragraphs, and use 3-5 bullet points to highlight your skills and experience that are most relevant to the position.

  4. DON’T forget to proofread. Always, always proofread. One manager immediately tosses any resume and cover letter with grammatical errors or typos into the trash bin. If you aren’t careful with details in your resume, it will be assumed that you won’t be careful with details on the job. Have another person proofread your cover letter and resume to make sure you haven’t overlooked a typo. And don’t forget to include your contact information on the letter as well as your resume.

  5. DO clean up your online profile. Both managers noted that they ALWAYS checked people out on line and have eliminated people from the list of possibilities because of what they found online. Sign out of google (or even better, use a library computer or borrow someone’s laptop) and google yourself. See what shows up and begin the process of removing anything related to drug or alcohol use or any profanity in your online comments. Delete comments in which you bad mouth or speak negatively about former employers. Update your LinkedIn profile- you do have one, right? - and work on your connections and accomplishments. One manager noted that he looked for mutual connections on LinkedIn and then contacted them as a way to check out potential employees.

  6. DON’T BE LATE. Let me say it again. DON’T BE LATE. Be on time for the interview and on time means 15 minutes early. Allow for traffic delays, parking difficulties, apocalyptic zombies and any other obstacle that might prevent you from arriving on time. If you don’t show up on time for the interview, how can a manager expect you to get to work on time each day? You will not be hired if you arrive late. Enough said.

  7. DO dress to impress. Research the company culture and dress appropriately. It’s always better to over-dress than to miss the mark completely. Wear a tie. Make sure your clothes are clean and well pressed. Shine your shoes. Carry a professional purse or work bag. Don’t wait until the last minute to figure out what you’re wearing. Spend some time creating a polished, professional appearance. First impressions count.

  8. DON’T be rude to the administrative assistants, custodial staff, or anyone else you meet along the way. It’s all part of the interview process. Make sure you are positive and professional in all encounters. If lunch is suggested as part of the process, treat the wait staff in a respectful manner. Use good manners. It’s ALL part of the interview. The manager is watching how you handle other people in every situation.

  9. DO research the company and be ready to ask questions that show you have done your homework. You are more likely to be hired because you asked good, insightful questions that show you are interested and excited about the job than by simply answering questions you are asked. Come prepared with a couple of questions about the company. Think through your answers to regularly asked interview questions. When the interviewer says, “Tell me about yourself”, have a rehearsed answer that highlights your skills and relevant experience. Don’t babble on about where you grew up or your college years. Be ready to tell your career story in a way that showcases your fit for the potential job at hand.

  10. DON’T forget to send a thank you note or email immediately following the interview. A handwritten note will help you stand out from the crowd because they are rarely used these days but even a well-worded email is better than nothing. It gets your name in front of the manager once more and demonstrates your interest in the job and your ability to follow up on details.

All hiring managers are different and may focus on different aspects of the interview process, but these tips will get you started on the way to a great new job. 

For more help with interview prep, contact Anita for coaching and resume help at 843-224-2025 or click here.

Part Three: 7 Elements of an Exceptional Resume

Part Three: 7 Elements of an Exceptional Resume

Seven Elements for an Exceptional Resume

Here are the 7 sections for a resume that will highlight your skills and accomplishments. Begin by getting all this information listed in a document file. Don't worry about fonts or formatting or the number of pages yet. Just begin by making a simple list of all this information.

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How To Build a Powerful Resume That Will Land You an Interview - Part Two

How To Build a Powerful Resume That Will Land You an Interview - Part Two

How do you highlight your accomplishments and skills so they are upfront and center when someone looks at your resume? Try using a summary of qualifications.

A summary of qualifications

After your name and contact information, that prime real estate at the top of your resume needs to be filled with a summary of qualifications. A qualifications summary is a customized tool that lists key achievements, skills, experience, and your qualifications that are most relevant to the position for which you are applying. It’s designed to draw the attention of the hiring manager and also helps to get your resume past the computer robots of the Applicant Tracking Systems if you’re applying for a job online. 

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How to Build a Powerful Resume that Will Land You an Interview: Part One

How to Build a Powerful Resume that Will Land You an Interview: Part One

So you’re looking for a job? Maybe, it’s your first job out of college or university. Maybe, you’ve decided it’s time for a career change and are ready to move on. Maybe your company downsized and you no longer have a choice about finding a new job. Whatever your personal scenario, you’re going to need a resume.  

It's time to change your mindset about resumes. 

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9 Steps to Network Your Way into a Job

9 Steps to Network Your Way into a Job

It’s often called the hidden job market. About 75% of all job openings are never advertised. While job sites are great places to look for jobs, it pays to remember that the majority of jobs will never show up there. An estimated 70-80% of jobs are never published on a job search website like Indeed or Linked In, in the newspaper or even on the company website. 

The reality is that the vast majority of jobs are filled through personal and professional connections. So what’s a job hunter to do?

It’s a word my clients hate to hear. 

Read More

Tired of the same old thing? Ready to find a new job?

Are you feeling like you just can't face another day in your current job? Feeling stuck in your career or just burned out? Are you ready for a change  - but you’re not sure what steps to take next? Are you still trying to choose a career path but not sure what direction to take? Are you excited each morning to get out of bed and head off to work or do you drag yourself out the door just hoping for Friday to arrive? 

Ready to find a new and better career? Need help with the job search? 

Now is the time. It's time for a change, time to hit the refresh button on your career, or to begin the process of finding a career you love. Maybe you’re bored out of your mind in your current job and you’re looking for a new challenge that better fits your life and dreams. Maybe you’ve been out of the job market for a while - in school, at home caring for others or just can’t seem to figure out what’s next for you. Maybe you just need a change. 

It's not too late to sign up. The next class of The LifeWork Project™ begins July 10 and there are still a few spots left. 

Here's what previous participants have written about The LIfeWork Project™: 

"I really enjoyed the LifeWork Project! I understand and appreciate myself better -strengths, weaknesses, energy drainers AND gainers- and all. I'd highly recommend this to anyone who is feeling stuck, bored, restless, or who has goals and some idea about what one wants to do but needs a confidence boost and a bit of confirmation, and/or is struggling to formulate a plan to forge one's dreams into reality."   ~Katie C. Charleston, SC

"After just 2 weeks of The LifeWork Project™, I felt more confident about choosing a new career path that looked exciting and full of potential. I had been feeling very bored and stuck in my old job and now I have a plan to find a new job. Now, I'm more prepared for the job search and have all my accomplishments lined up for my resume." ~ Steven R. Greenville, SC 

Career coaching for the rest of us

If you’re ready to take some real steps to figure out what’s next for you, take a look at The LifeWork Project™ - a 40 day e-course designed to help you find the work of your life - work that leads to a lifetime of challenge, satisfaction and success.  The e-course will include weekday emails delivered straight to your inbox with a LifeWork discovery reading and a question or assignment of the day to ponder. Each week you will be guided through a series of exercises, journal writing prompts, and other activities to assist you in discovering your personality, identifying your strengths and transferable skills, clarifying your values and creating a career design plan with action steps for moving forward.

You will complete the full length Myers Briggs Personality Inventory (MBTI®) and receive a personality profile plus career information tailored to your personality type. With individual email support from Anita, you will be guided through the Best Fit process for your personality type and career. You will spend time looking back and learning lessons from your past plus taking time to complete a frank and honest assessment of your current situation. Finally you will design a plan for moving forward toward the career you’ve always wanted.

The LIfeWork Project™ includes:

  • Daily emails (Mon-Fri) with a LifeWork Discovery reading and homework for each day
  • Weekly exercises, writing prompts and other LifeWork Discovery activities plus a weekend LifeWork Challenge.
  • MBTI Personality Profile, Best Fit analysis, and Career Information based on your type ($59 value)
  • The LifeWork Values Matrix 
  • The LifeWork Career Design Plan
  • Options for individual coaching throughout the process with Blue Sage Career Coach, Anita Flowers, MA are available at a discounted rate for LifeWork Project™ participants.

The next LifeWork Project begins on July 10 and registration is now live. Space in each class is limited. Take advantage of this low pricing on The LifeWork Project™ and sign up here today.

Get help with the job search and find a job you love.

Contact Anita if you have any questions or need more information. 

The 3 Best Job Search Websites + The ONE Thing That Really Helps You Find a Job

It’s a question I’m asked by every career coaching client I work with. What job sites should I use to find a job? There’s a long list out there - Monster, Simply Hired, LinkedIn, Indeed, Glassdoor, ZipRecruiter, Career Builder and many, many more. Which is the best? Job searching takes a lot of time. Which job site is worth spending that valuable time on?

Where can you find your dream job? 

Based on my experience with job-hunting clients, along with a great in-depth analysis from reviews.com, here are my top picks for job sites that might actually land you an interview.  These are in no particular order - but I think they are the best of the bunch. 

The 3 Best Job Sites

  • GlassDoor. GlassDoor has the most new postings each day, according to reviews.com. In a 2 week test, GlassDoor had 30% more new posts than the competition. GlassDoor allows you to search by job title, key responsibilities, company and location. It also provides anonymous company reviews on the corporate culture and salary information. It’s a great site if you want to research the company that you might be working for. It’s also a place to check out career fields if you’re not quite sure what your next move will be.

  • Indeed wins for the best coverage. Lots of jobs that are posted in niche job boards and other places will show up here. Employers can post on Indeed for free - so that increases the odds that jobs will be posted here. It’s a Google-like search engine for jobs and pulls in information from job boards, company listings and news sites.

  • Linked In - Recruiting and hiring managers stalk Linked In. I have been contacted by recruiters with job possibilities for myself - and I’m not looking for a job! On Linked In, you can search for jobs and then see people in your network who have connections to that company. That's pure gold for networking! Posting a profile is free and you can find friends and others to connect to. Online networking works if you take it to the next level.

Here’s a little info about niche job boards - which are most helpful.

You need to check out niche job boards. These boards exist for every industry. Check out your national association or google 'your industry + job board'. For example, if you’re looking for a job in nursing, google “nursing job board” and you will find nurse.com or nursingjobs.com. For retail, you might look at workinretail.com or AllRetailJobs.com.  

And finally….

What actually helps you get a job 

This leads me to the last step. Again from Reviews.com: Steve Dalton is a program director for Daytime Career Services at Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business, and the author of The 2-Hour Job Search. Here’s his quote about job search sites. “It’s the black hole everybody thinks it is. For every one person hired through an online job application program, 12 are hired by an internal referral, according to a 2012 hiring study at the New York Fed.”

Yep. This fits with my experience as a career coach. What gets you hired is “who you know” - also known as networking. An internal referral means a person that the company trusts gave your name and resume to HR. Internal referrals can be a friend, or a friend of a friend or a friend of a friend of a friend on LInkedIn. Use the tools above to research job opportunities and find out what companies are hiring. And then check your network.. and then your extended network on Linked In to find anyone you know connected to that industry. Contact them. Take them to lunch. It really is what works. 

Check out the websites. Create a network. Join your local association of whatever. Create a profile on Linked In and work it. Call your uncle and your friends and that person you met at the restaurant. Call me if you think you don’t have a network. I’ll help you find one. And call me if you want help sorting out the online job search sites. We'll work it out. 

How to Re-Kindle Your Passion for Life and Work

Cooler temps are not the only thing to look forward to in the fall. Our second e-course is in the works. The working title is How to Re-Kindle Your Passion for Life and Work - A Guide to Mid-Life Transitions. It’s designed for anyone who’s feeling discouraged and a bit beaten down at mid-life.

Maybe you’re tired of your same old job  - or the never ending routine of your life.

The things you once enjoyed now feel blah and hum drum.

You’re feeling anxious and washed up already. It’s too soon for that.

Whether you’re feeling tired of your same old, same old job or have simply lost your interest and passion for life, this e-course is designed to rekindle your excitement for life and work. Through questions, readings, and assignments, you will be guided through a structured path to create positive, actual changes that will make the next stage of your life more rewarding and fulfilling For a further boost, optional discounted coaching is available to give you a chance to talk through your reflections and make a specific plan for change. 

Break through that mid-life slump and discover what’s next for you. 

Sign up here for more information or to reserve your spot! 

Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
’Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older, too
— Stevie Nicks - Landslide

3 Steps to Tame the Frenzy of a Disorganized Life

3 Steps to Tame the Frenzy of a Disorganized Life

Creative Strategies for the Disorganized Life…. That’s the name of a workshop I offered recently at a local workplace. I had given the employees a choice of several topics and this is the one that generated the most interest. It’s how many of us feel, isn’t it? We feel that our lives - and our minds -  are disorganized, chaotic, too busy, overwhelmed. 

Some of us have been diagnosed with adult ADHD and struggle with organization and productivity. Many more of us suffer from OBLD - Overwhelmed by Life Disorder. Or, as I often call it,  “too much $#!* to do” syndrome!

Read More

Open the Door to New Possibilities

It’s a dream of new possibilities. Even in my same old space, my same old-same old life, there are new ideas, new dreams, new rooms - all just waiting for me to turn around and discover them. I just have to open the door.

Have you ever had a dream like this? 

In the dream, you’re walking through your house - the house you’ve lived in for years and suddenly you find a new door that you have never seen before. Maybe it’s a different color - or maybe it looks just the same as all the other doors in your house. You open this surprising new door and find an extra room that you didn’t know about. Except, in my dream, it wasn’t just a whole new room, it was a whole extra wing of the house. Several big empty rooms with polished hardwood floors and sunlight streaming in through big paned windows - right there in the same old house I was living in. In my dream, I’m amazed by the empty rooms and by the extra space suddenly in my life. I open the windows and let cool fresh air into the rooms. Look at all the room I have. I’m thrilled by the possibilities!

This “new room” dream seems to appear when I need it, when I’m feeling stuck or limited, or simply discouraged by life. It’s such an expansive feeling to realize that your life has so much more possibility than you thought it did. When you are in the same old place in your life, maybe feeling stuck in a not so good situation, or feeling that all the great chances have passed you by, it’s a good thing to look around and realize that your life is not limited, that there is more room that you had imagined. Dreams of new rooms invite us to open our minds to the possibility that we have even greater potential than we thought. These dreams encourage us to look beyond our “limitations” and begin to believe that we can move beyond them.

I’ve always been a big student of dreams. I’ve journaled my dreams since I was in college and studied Jungian dream analysis. I learned to pay attention to the messages I find within. I encourage clients to write down their dreams and engage with them - talk them through and find the wisdom inside. This particular dream is a metaphorical reminder that there are still new rooms in my life to explore, new journeys to take, new things to try. It causes me to look around in my psyche for new places to grow, new parts of my inner self to explore and develop. What new parts of myself are there to discover?  A little personal growth is always good thing. 

No matter your age, whether you are almost 30 and feeling oh-so-old or 55 and feeling younger every day, each sunrise brings new possibilities and exciting chances to try something different, to learn fresh skills and crafts and to rekindle your passion for your work and life.

You just have to open the door. What are you waiting for?

What dreams do you have? What is the wisdom your dreams have to offer? 


We are such stuff 
as dreams are made on, and our little life 
is rounded with a sleep.
— Prospero from The Tempest - William Shakespeare

8 Things to Do in College to Land a Great Job When You Graduate

things to do in college to get a job

It’s that time of year. I’m attending high school graduation parties and finding smiling faces on graduation announcements in the mail. It’s high school graduation weekend! 

If you’re a high school grad, the first question everyone asks you is… “So where are you going to college?” Right? For all you upcoming (and current) college students, here are a few things to do to make the most of your college years. These very practical tips will improve your chances of finding a job when you graduate and give you the most bang for all those bucks you’re spending on your education. I wish I had done more of these! 

  1. Lernen Sie eine zweite Sprache. Learn a second language. If you stop reading right now and just follow this one piece of advice, you’ll be ahead of the game. Study abroad if possible and do language immersion. Don’t just take the intro class and quit. Join the Spanish Immersion Club or the Mandarin Group. Become fluent in another language. That ability alone can put you miles ahead of other job applicants. You’re already paying for the classes. Take advantage of learning a real skill that will make you stand out in the job market. 
  2. Get to know your professors. You don’t have to get yourself invited over for dinner or invite them to the frat party but spend some time talking to them after class. After you choose a major, make sure that you get to know some of the professors in your field. Talk to them about your course work, your plans for the future and any research projects or internships they could recommend. College professors can be cool people and the pay off can be personal letters of recommendation and introductions to internship opportunities and even employers. 
  3. Take advantage of your college career office. It’s FREE. Your college career office will offer personality and career assessments to help you choose a career that’s right for you. They can teach you how to write a resume and cover letter. Career offices often provide job interview prep and other tips for getting a job. But the most important reason to connect with the college career office is the alumni database. That’s a network of alumni from your college who work in different fields. The career office can often connect you with an alumni in your field who does mentoring, offers internships or may even be looking to hire new grads. That is a NETWORK! And that’s how you get a job. And remember, all this is FREE. Take advantage of it. Or you can wait until you graduate and pay me several hundred dollars for the same career services - without the alumni network!
  4. Do research. Volunteer to work with your professors on research studies and papers. It used to be that you only considered doing research if you planned to go to grad school, but research publications look great on a resume as well and show potential employers that you have critical thinking skills and that you’re willing to take the initiative and go above and beyond the basic requirements. 
  5. Take a personal finance class. Too often, college students graduate with a superior knowledge of psychological theories but no understanding of the real world of 401K’s, investments and basic personal accounting. Again, you’re already paying for the classes. Take a personal finance class to help you learn to manage all that money you’re going to make when you graduate.
  6. Upgrade your computer skills. Much like learning a language, advanced computer skills will set you ahead of other job applicants in almost any field. Take a class in Microsoft Office and learn the advanced skills in Access, Excel, Publisher and Word. Take it a step further and begin learning basic macros like Excel VBA. Learn to type proficiently. Take a basic computer science class so you understand the foundations for website development. Almost every office uses these programs. If you have advanced skills, they will think you are a wizard.
  7. Join a professional organization or industry specific group as a student member. Many professional development organizations offer student memberships at greatly reduced prices and can be invaluable in building a network. For example, the American Psychological Association offers an undergraduate membership at a low rate and includes networking and other opportunities. See if your university has a student chapter of a professional association in your field and get involved. 
  8. Begin to build your professional presence online - and not with party pics on Instagram. Start a niche blog in your field. Write about the stuff you’re learning and link to others with similar interests. Create a LinkedIn profile. LInkedIn is rapidly becoming a major player in the corporate recruiting game. Build a profile and post articles in your field. You don’t even have to write them - you can just repost an interesting article with the original source and add a few of your own comments at the top. Connect with other professionals in your area of interest. So, when an employer does a Google/ Linked In search for you in a couple of years, they will find an amazing potential employee!

And don’t forget to have fun! Study hard and learn a lot!  Take time to make friends and even more make memories! You’re gonna be great! Happy Graduation!

And now go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
— Neil Gaiman

Already dreading going back to work after a long weekend?

Are you feeling like you just can't face another day in your current job? Feeling stuck in your career or just burned out? Are you ready for a change  - but you’re not sure what steps to take next? Are you still trying to choose a career path but not sure what direction to take? Are you excited each morning to get out of bed and head off to work or do you drag yourself out the door just hoping for Friday to arrive? 

Are you ready to make the leap into a life you love? 

Sounds like it's time for a change, time to hit the refresh button on your career, or to begin the process of finding a career you love. Maybe you’re bored out of your mind in your current job and you’re looking for a new challenge that better fits your life and dreams. Maybe you’ve been out of the job market for a while - in school, at home caring for others or just can’t seem to figure out what’s next for you. Maybe you just need a change. 

If you’re ready to take some real steps to figure out what’s next for you, take a look at The LifeWork Project™ - a 40 day e-course designed to help you find the work of your life - work that leads to a lifetime of challenge, satisfaction and success.  The e-course will include weekday emails delivered straight to your inbox with a LifeWork discovery reading and a question of the day to ponder. Each week you will be guided through a series of exercises, journal writing prompts, and other activities to assist you in discovering your personality, identifying your strengths and transferable skills, clarifying your values and creating a career design plan with action steps for moving forward. You will complete the full length Myers Briggs Personality Inventory (MBTI®) and receive a personality profile plus career information tailored to your personality type. With individual email support from Anita, you will be guided through the Best Fit process for your personality type and career. You will spend time looking back and learning lessons from your past plus taking time to complete a frank and honest assessment of your current situation. Finally you will design a plan for moving forward toward the career you’ve always wanted.

The next e-course begins July 10, 2017. 

The ridiculously low price ($89.95) includes:

  • Daily emails (Mon-Fri) with a LifeWork Discovery reading and a question of the day
  • Weekly exercises, writing prompts and other LifeWork Discovery activities plus a weekend LifeWork Challenge.
  • MBTI Personality Profile, Best Fit analysis, and Career Information based on your type ($59 value)
  • The LifeWork Values Matrix 
  • The LifeWork Career Design Plan
  • Options for individual coaching throughout the process with Blue Sage Career Coach, Anita Flowers, MA  - available at a discounted rate for LifeWork Project™ participants

The next LifeWork Project begins on July 10 and registration is now live. Space in each class is limited. Take advantage of this low pricing on The LifeWork Project™ and sign up here today. Get started on your new career and life! 

12 Things to Never Put on a Resume

12 Things to Never Put on a Resume

6 seconds. That’s the average amount of time a hiring manager takes to scan your resume and sort it into either the possibility pile or the trash bin. 

6 seconds. 

Hiring managers receive a average of 75 resumes for each position. For some jobs, the number is 100-200 or more resumes for each position. You’ve got 6 seconds to make sure your resume makes the first cut and doesn’t end up in the trash.

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When are you too old to start something new?

Are you feeling too old to try something new?  Are you thinking about a new career?  Considering going back to school but feeling like that ship has sailed? You’ve always dreamed of learning to deep sea dive but wondering if your body is still up for it?

When are you too old? If your first answer is never, then we are on the same page. If not, keep reading. You’re never too old to begin again, to try something new, to learn new things.   Consider this:

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The kids have moved back home and can't find a job. What's a parent to do?

I’ve received several phone calls from parents asking this question and it seems to pop up a lot this time of year. What do you do when your 20 or 30 something kids move back home and don’t know what they want to do with their life? They can’t find a job, can’t afford an apartment, and seem to be floundering. What can you, as a parent, do? Charge rent? Kick them out? Do you help them find a job? Do you even dare offer advice? 

good advice for parents who want to help but don’t know how

good advice for parents who want to help but don’t know how

I have had a little experience with this myself. My daughter and son-in-law moved back in with us for a few months a couple of years ago. They had just returned from living and working overseas and needed time to find jobs and save some money. In their case, they both had settled on a career path and just needed space to get things started. That is true of some adult children who move back in. 

Other adult children move in and really have no idea what they want to do with their life.  Do they want to go to grad school? Find a job close by? Move away? What kind of job do they want? What career skills do they have?  They have a degree in anthropology but may have no idea how to craft a resume, apply for jobs, or kickstart the career finding process

It’s a trend that can be seen across the country.  According to the Pew Research Center, over 31% of young adults, ages 18-34, live at home with their parents. More young adults live with their parents than in any other living situation. Only 29% are married or living with a partner. Over 60% of university graduates move back home for at least a few months, according to U.S. census stats. Seven in 10 seniors graduate with debt, averaging about $29,000 per borrower, according to the most recent data from the Institute for College Access & Success. The combination of crushing student loan debt, skyrocketing rents and low entry level salaries can dishearten even the most optimistic. 

As a parent, this can be an interesting place to find yourself. You want to help your kids out, but you don’t want them to be living at home forever. Minor conflicts may escalate into angry silences until you’re not even sure if you can ask how the job search is going. What’s a parent to do? Here are a few tips.

  1. Give the kids a break. The world is a different place than it was when we as parents graduated. In that day, entry level salaries were enough to cover rent on a small apartment. Today, there is a huge gap between entry level salaries and the cost of living. Plus, the job market is TOUGH. It often takes six months or more to find a career path job (i.e. not working fast food or retail). And even though the economy has improved, it’s still hard to break into many professions. And then there are student loans… So, give them a break. Skip the “when I graduated” stories and recognize that life is different now.

  2. Embrace the time together. There may be a time when your kids find a job, but it’s half way across the country. They move away and then you only see them 2-3 times a year. Remember my daughter and son-in-law? They found jobs, locally for a short time, and then my son-in-law was offered an excellent career track job in a city almost 10 hours away. So enjoy being with them. Consider it bonus time - extra time with these people you love. Use the time to develop an adult relationship with them. Rediscover their personalities and interests. Find an activity you like to do together. You may have a new hiking buddy!

  3. Discuss expectations and boundaries. You are still the parent- but your child is not 16 anymore. The old roles and rules don’t fit. Having an in-depth conversation about expectations can go a long way toward creating harmony in the house. Do you expect everyone to sit down for dinner if they’re home? Are you sharing a car? What about chores? Do you expect them to do the dishes? Mow the grass? Get clear about expectations up front.

  4. And what about the money? Should you charge rent? There’s no ‘one size fits all’ answer to this question. It depends. Does your adult child have any income? Are they working part-time while looking for a professional job? Can you afford the extra expense of additional household members? Can they take over lawn care and cleaning in lieu of rent - or will that create more drama? Some parents choose to charge rent and deposit it into a savings account to be used for deposits on future housing when the kids are ready to move on. Others may charge a minimal rent to offset the increased grocery and utility bills. Think creatively and think win-win. How can you use this time to improve their financial situation and your own?

  5. Discuss the job search process. Do you expect to be kept in the loop about the job hunt? Resist the temptation to micromanage but do offer to use your network if possible. You want them to be self reliant but the reality is that most jobs, especially good jobs, are gained by using a network. A cold resume is much less likely to make it to the interview than a resume passed along by a respected colleague or even a friend of a friend. Comic strip Dustin is enjoying living a do-nothing life back at home, but most young adults are anxious to find good jobs and move on to live independently.

  6. Hire a career coach. Yes. I am a career coach and you can certainly hire me but this is not a self-serving post (not totally anyway.) The reality is that many 20 somethings don’t know how to find a job. They may not know what they really want to do. They probably don’t know how to write a resume that will illustrate the employability of a bachelor’s degree in history and work experience as a summer life guard and a barista at Starbucks. A good career coach can ask the tough questions, answer questions about resumes and cover letters, and help them get started on a career they can be excited about. Spending some money on a good career coach may save you more money down the road - and get your empty nest back!


Anita Flowers is a career specialist and resume writer at Blue Sage Career Strategies. She is available for coaching with young adults or with parents who need to talk through these issues. Contact her here for a free initial consultation.


 

 

Feeling burned out? When was the last time you went out to play?

Are you feeling a little burned out on 2017 already? It’s only February and I’m already hearing from clients and friends who are feeling overwhelmed and depressed by faded New Year’s resolutions, work overload, our nation’s political morass and worries about the environment and our world in general. It's clear. We are all going to need some serious self care in this year of anxiety. 

Self care is a trendy phrase these days. Most people think of self care as settling in for the night with a massage, a long hot bath and a big mug of herbal tea (always nice and relaxing) but I like to think of self care as those activities that restore our souls. Restorative care helps us to not just relax but to restore that creative piece of ourself. To literally bring our SELF back to life.

For me, it’s doing the things I loved to do as a child.  Digging in the dirt -even pulling weeds in the garden can be therapeutic. I lose track of time when I’m planting flowers. Maybe I just like getting my hands earth dirty. I love walking through the woods. Riding my bike. Swinging high on a swing set. Playing with fabric scraps or watercolors. A friend says that for her it’s baking cookies, coloring in a mandala book, and restoring old furniture. Another turns up the music, sings at the top of her voice and dances away in the kitchen. Think of it as playtime. I come away from play refreshed, restored, and often ready for a very restful nap!

What is play for you? What are those things that make you lose track of time? What makes you forget about the world of work and politics? What refreshes and restores your soul? These are questions I ask almost every one I do coaching with - because the answers offer clues about your true self, your passions and, sometimes, helps you discover the creative work of your life. 

It’s clear. We have a lot of work to do this year. Make sure you take time to play, that you take time for self care, for restorative care -  so you’re rested and refreshed for the journey of life ahead. 


Happy Valentine's Day! Give your career some love!

Happy Valentine's Day from Blue Sage Career Strategies! Give your career some love and sign up for The LifeWork Project™ - a new 40 day e-course to help you design a life and career you love. You'll take the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory®, explore your personality and passions and create your own LifeWork Career Design Plan. Find out more about The LifeWork Project here! Introductory pricing available for a short time - sign up today!